Watching My Mom Go Black -
As the initial surprise fades, a deeper understanding usually takes its place. Adult children begin to see their mother not just as a parental figure, but as an individual human being with a history, unfulfilled desires, and a right to self-determination. This phase fosters deep conversations about systemic identity, personal struggles, and the parts of her life she may have previously suppressed. Shared Pride and Empowerment
She opened her eyes suddenly, and for one crystalline moment, she was there. Really there.
The poem begins with a straightforward yet powerful statement: the speaker is watching their mom "go black." On the surface, this phrase could be interpreted literally, perhaps referring to a change in hair texture or skin tone. However, Parker masterfully subverts this expectation, instead using the phrase as a metaphor for her mother's growing awareness of and connection to her black identity. Watching My Mom Go Black
Are you writing a about aging and health?
Jolie Rocke's Watching My Mom Go Black is a poignant, multi-disciplinary performance piece and memoir utilizing storytelling, jazz, and gospel to explore the emotional journey of witnessing a mother with Alzheimer's disease [2, 4]. It highlights themes of memory loss, cultural identity, and the profound role reversal of caregiving [4, 5]. As the initial surprise fades, a deeper understanding
The hardest part of "watching my mom go black" is often the subtlety of the beginning. It rarely happens overnight. It starts with a flicker—a missed phone call, a change in tone, or a uncharacteristic silence. The person who was once vibrant, warm, and nurturing begins to withdraw.
The toll this took on her spirit—the exhaustion of blending in. III. The Catalyst for Change Shared Pride and Empowerment She opened her eyes
If you are present when your mother feels faint or loses consciousness, acting quickly and calmly can prevent secondary injuries, such as head trauma from a fall.
At first, I was worried about how my mom would cope with the physical changes that came with vitiligo. I had seen her struggle with self-acceptance in the past, and I feared that this condition would take a toll on her self-esteem. But as I watched her navigate this journey, I was struck by her resilience and determination.
If you are currently navigating any variation of this journey with your mother, here are immediate steps to ground your experience:
That last part—the visual processing—was the key to understanding what I was watching.